"Deeper Into This Madness" [2007] Part Two.

Chapter 2 (The Instabilities of Loss and Regrets/Mixed Signals/Decent into Absurdity)

By Andy Day

1.

The signs are growing a lot clearer with each passing day.
I try to play it off as paranoia, but you can only hide for so long.
The battle inside of me is raging harder as I sort through my chaotic conscious.
I see the emptiness, the secret hatred.
It kills me slowly, like a group of cancerous cells.
I want to fix it, but am lacking the proper tools and instructions.
I can't help but notice the subtle hints dropping everywhere.
My head throbs, and after swallowing another 5 Excedrin, it pounds harder.
I just want to go back to the beginning.
But the remote is lost.

I'm lost, completely lost.
And the search team has given up.

2.

 When it entered the room, the power went out and it was the only thing I could see.
I knew right there,
I was destined for it.
But as time took it's toll,
I feared for the repercussions.
The words seemed to stick like glue,
and the feelings grew like weeds.
Waited for what seemed like centuries,
and the light came back on.
The room resumed its activity,
the walls staring at everything ever so intently.
It was gone,
as was my sense of emotion.
Void of life,
and scared of death,
my body wandered the cold cave searching for answers.
The river contained yellow fish,
swimming in harmony.
The light was pouring from the exit,
or perhaps it was the entrance.
A glowing purple veil hung above the opening,
closing away the day light.
As I opened it,
I was surrounded by the purest of white light.
Everything flowed through me,
so fast I couldn't breathe.
The light faded into a gray glimmer,
and my eyes burned behind the lids.
I awoke face up on the bed,
the ambiance playing at just the right volume.
As I got up,
a tear streamed down my face.
I'm losing it,
or maybe I'm finding it all.

3.

 What you never heard was me tell you that I love you.

But what is it worth?
My heart, my soul?
Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

4.

 My insides are becoming twisted.
This seems to be a nightly event, something to set your watch by.
The thoughts grow stronger every waking evening.
And the fear sets in.
I sit up a night, getting no sleep.
Meditation is beginning to fail, taking me to the dark depths of my mind.
I look for answers, but the questions become more complicated.
I just need to go somewhere, away from all emotions and physical beings.
I need to see the picture, but it's not done being painted.
And the end result scares me, to a point where I cover my eyes.
There has to be a reasonable explanation.
But reason and logic are nowhere to be found.
With each time I close my eyes, praying that tomorrow will be okay.
But with each waking day, it grows worse.
I can't figure it out, can't understand why it's going on.
Is there a switch that's been activated?
Can I turn it off?
I'm on a quest to become emotionally numb.
But my emotions are to strong.
I see it in my dreams, the perfect world, the perfect life.
The only problem is, I have to wake up.
Tonight is just horrible, just like every night.
Why is it that the darkness brings about these thoughts?
Will I ever be comfortable again?

5.

 I need someone to talk to,
My head is so everywhere, and I want out.
I want out of my fucking head, because it does this shit to me every waking moment.
I play out the scenarios in my head, and almost vomit.
I can't take it.
CAN'T YOU SEE I'M BREAKING?!
When the world you go into to escape turns it back on you, where do you go?
I'm loosing this war against myself.
Everything I do, everything I say, everything I feel is amounting to nothing.
It collects, builds, and hardens into this mountain I don't have the strength to climb.
It's as if I'm digging, knowing the deeper I go the less I will find.
My veins hurt with the thought.
My stomach is in a constant state of peril, reflecting my emotional state.
I try to hide it from you, try to play it cool, but my skin is tearing and the true person beneath is escaping.
I'm sorry for everything, and anything.
Can't I just live in my memories?
Stay dormant inside a scene already played out?
The only thing that deceives me worse is my dreams.

6.

 Intriguing, how odd this world of shapes can seem to be at a time.
Walking through streets and hallways of busy buildings, I see everything.
I am a wallflower, a simple observer.
I state my observations of modern day civilization to those willing to listen.
But what I lack doing, is observing myself.
How do I function?
What are my kinks?
What I have come to notice is that, I'm in a constant state of waiting.
Waiting for you,
Waiting it out.
If only we could go to a place where just you and I could be.
Just be.
But when I hold my inviting hand out to venture to this place,
will you accept it, or turn your back and walk away?
I notice the colors, a lot.
I notice the shapes;
I wonder how they play into one another.
Maybe my observation of these current states of living has become obsession.
The sounds you make, they keep me up at night.
The back of my eyes hold your image.
And the funny thing is, your eyes are closed as well.
I let the music flow through me, taking me to this world.
A world of colors and sound, flowing into each other in perfect harmony.
My dreams turn to nightmares, and you are never there.
I wait it out,
I have to wait out.
Because if I don't wait,
Then what is the point of breathing?
One day, my dear, you will see this the way I want you to see it.
Blind to the hollow words,
Deaf to the shallow touch,
Motionless as I look into your eyes.
Can we start over, right now?
Because then we can un-complicate everything.
And live in an untangled web.
You'll be okay,
If you just wait it out with me here.
But your not here,
I hold my hand out now, reaching for you.
Will you accept it?
And venture forward with me into a world of unquestionable happiness?
Do you hear the words that pine to escape me?
Do you see the passion in my eyes?
Do you feel the motion of life, a portrait of you, flowing through my veins?
You don't even understand;
this is just a test.
Wait out with me,
Won't you?

 7.

Today was an emotional rollercoaster.
Everything just came at me with full force.
And I couldn't stand while it barreled through me.
What you didn't see, were the tears forming in the corners of my eyes as I saw you.
What you didn't feel was the embarrassment that I felt when I talked to you.
It took a lot for me to make it through today.
You backed away as I offered my hand.
Left me on the ledge.
What you didn't see was the 8 hours of consecutive sleep, followed by the tossing and turning from thoughts of the past.
What you didn't feel was the pain coursing through my veins as I clambered, ashamed, under the scolding hot water.
If you paid attention, you saw the emptiness in my eyes.
You heard the hollowness in my voice.
You saw the shell.
You smelled the fear.
But what you don't know is that I know everything.
The things that went on behind me.
I sensed it.
But I've been told I'm a strong person.
So I'm not asking for your forgiveness.
I'm not holding on to hopes and dreams.
I'm becoming emotionally numb.
So I can never be hurt again.
I'm going to wait it out, like I have.
The end hasn't even begun to play out yet.
So I'll sit in the back row, and I'll watch with patience as the actors play it out, scene by scene like I have so many times.
I'll walk back out into the rain.
And I'll go back to my world.
Where I can just be.
I know I'm weak.
You know I'm vulnerable.
And all I can do is go back to sleep.

 8.

What a revelation will do to one's mind.
I know that at this point I'm broken,
But the glue is just up the road.
A few more steps, and I'll be fixed.
It will take a while, my steps are growing heavier with each one I take.
The clock reads the same time, hours wasting away in front of me.
But it's okay, cause this lost time gives me so much more.
I'll take this for what it is.
And grow from it.
The rain will come soon, wash it all away.
The sun will rise soon, dry up the mistakes of yesterday.
The clouds will hide it all from the naked eye.
But look closer.
It's been there this whole time.
But when you close your eyes to it, you will never know it for what it is.
I can taste the future.
I can feel the past.
But I can't see the present.
One day you too will see it, see behind the clouds.
One day you too will fear the past.
One day you too will run from the future.
But never will you be able to see the present.
Your vision is just diluted right now.
So what you don't see will harm you.
And you'll see it when the skies clear, and the sun awakes from it's slumber.
Play the part well, for it may affect your career.
I'll sit and watch.
For our turn to get up on stage will be here before you can blink.
So practice your lines, study your moves.
The audience is very critical.
And we all know that you deserve a standing ovation for your outstanding performances.
My seat is warm in the back of the audience.
And I prepare my self for what's to come.
I anticipate the curtain rise.
Can you hear my claps, from all the way back here?
Can you see the roses for your début performance?
Because it was all just an act,
Am I right?

 9.

My anxiety is peaking.
My heart is pounding and I'm shaking.
Something has come over me, but I don't know what.
Could it be....No, It couldn't.
I've told myself it isn't.
But what if I'm lying to myself?
I don't know anymore.
I'm just loosing it.
Why do I always feel like this?
My head is spinning.
My stomach is in knots.
Why am I so nervous all of a sudden?
I just want to be okay again.
But was I ever okay?
The questions remain unanswered.
The looks are growing stronger.
It's like I'm back at square one again.
And the pieces I put together were wrong and there are new ones added to the mix.
So now I sit here, smoking a cigarette to calm my nerves,
And I think out loud to hear the sound of my trembling voice.
"One day Andy, the sun will shine down on you and only you for one moment lost in time, and then you will understand what it feels like to be happy".
I can't stand here any longer.
I can't listen to what the reflection in the mirrors tell me.
I can't understand the messages hidden in the words.
When will you come on stage?
When will the clouds part, revealing the sun?
When can I just not look back and know that it waits for me up ahead?
One day, the clouds will devour the sun, and I'll never see the light again.
I wait for the stars to show me the way.

 10.

The hills are becoming steeper as I climb to the top.
I just want to see the sun again.
Feel the warmth it provides me.
But I fall every step of the way.
I try to close myself off to the darkness surrounding me.
I feel my muscles clenching at the thought.
The stars have cracked open.
And I want to dance with you in their blood.
Just stay with with  me.
And I'll repair them so we can see the light again.
I waited for what seemed like years for this.
But when the stars start to die,
and the moon eats the sun,
Then we are left here in the dark, looking for a way out.
But the exit is on fire.
And we are trapped.
You haunt my conscious.
And wait in the back of my eyes to devour my soul as I blink.
Do you see the things that turn us around?
I think you are losing your vision,
Because what you needed to see was there in the beginning.
I wait in the shadows for a glimpse.
I stand in the darkness, wishing for the warmth.
Everything is gone.
Don't utter the phrase, don't even think it for it shall destroy you.
The funny thing is, is that it never existed.
People thought it up as a crutch, something to fall back on when they were sad.
You see it on Television to prompt ratings,
You hear it in music to boost sells,
But they all know it's a lie.
Yet I still stand here with your roses,
Ready for you to take your bow on stage.
Because we all saw how well you preformed up there, in the spotlight.
The acting was superb.
The delivery was outstanding.
Your one of the greatest actors alive, don't forget that.
You made your character come alive,
I almost didn't realize you were acting.
But did you ever for a second think that you had merged with your character?
Did you ever feel what they felt?
Did you hear the audience's applause?
Or was your head so big that it didn't even break the drum?
I try to forget about it.
I try to remember the play, the way it was acted out.
Stay with me here.
And take my hand this time.
But your eyes are closed with your hands over your ears.
Were you that anxious for the reviews that you just hid from it?
Go back to sleep.
Cause that is where you can hide.
Inside your dreams.
Hide from truth, pain, and love.
I just hope I don't wake up next time.
Cause the dreams were so real.
I almost forget they aren't reality.
I act is if they were.
After all, don't we all?
Teaching the mind to become an isolationist.
Teaching the heart to become a paraplegic.
Teaching the body to become a reflection.
Teaching the soul to become a corpse.
Go back to sleep

 11.

I wish I had your "strength"
The ability to be so disregarding, so reckless, so arrogant.
I wish I had your "outlook"
To be able to see things for what they aren't, to look at death in the face and walk away with out one hair raised, to live only to die.
I can't comprehend it.
Your logic, your reasoning, your mindset.
If you see someone drowning, why wouldn't you swim?
Maybe I'm the blind one in this situation.
Yes, I have evidence, but maybe there is more I don't see, or wish to see.
They don't care about you, like I do.
All I ever did, all I ever wanted, was to help.
But did I fail?
It's as clear to me now, that I did.
Isolate and save you from you from yourself.
But you don't realize you can't swim.
Or maybe I just can't save you.
The stench of failure rises from my skin.
The look of defeat lives in my hollow eyes.
Just let it heal.
Just let it manifest into something better.
Take what's given, and grow from it.
I wait in the darkness again.
I but it's time for me to go.
I just feel so catatonic.
You never met me half way, keeping everything for yourself as I starved and waited for something and anything.
You disappoint me.
And I disappointed you, warning you from the time we hit play.
And for you to destroy what I helped you build, this shield of safety.
Is just beyond me, and I'm beside myself.
You know how to make me wait, and worry.
That is the essence of all this, is I worry about you.
I want you to be okay, and when you’re okay, as will I.
I can't just stand around anymore, watching this selfish self destruction.
You know where my heart is, and it's not fair.
I made some mistakes, but I learned to patch them up.
I'm searching for the things to say.
The things that will let you see through my eyes.
But I fear you won't listen.
Seeing what your becoming is destroying me once again.
I still hear your words, lingering in my head.
And I wonder if they were lies.
I still taste it in my mouth, the words I never uttered.
It's a bitter and stale taste now.
The syllables stand dormant, waiting for a release.
But I will never say it.
Never become so vulnerable again.
Never become so insecure again.
Never trust the words that have deceived me so many times, ever again.
But the thing is, I know in my heart I would do it all over again, just to see the moon again and feel the sweet night air. To see the sun again, wrap my self in it's warmth.
I'm fading away, and you don't see.
One last extension of my hand is all I can offer now.

 12.

You are swimming in my veins.
Soaking up the plasma.
I am growing weak, and my skin is turning ever so pale.
I know your racing to my heart,
Shut it down for me, when you arrive there, won't you?
You've eaten away at my stomach,
Blackened my lungs,
And ransacked my brain.
I wake every so often from the constant sleep.
And the moments of clarity release.
I wait for the deconstruction of my vital organs.
I wait for the corrosion of my skin from within.
You grow larger with every drop of blood you suck out of me.
And my muscles have caved in.
I convulse before I fall back to sleep.
Can't you see me now?
Have you ever really seen me?
Or the shell you helped pro-create?
Hollow me out so you can touch my soul.
You have it all, what more do you desire?
Shove it all down, hide some more.
It's okay, they have a way of seeping back in after a while.
Maybe when I wake, so will you.
I sit patiently, watching the clouds move faster.
I lay there, feeling the cold night air brush across my skin, the grass rubbing my skin, the stars watching my every move.
Join me, and live inside my memories.
I just wait it out, I have always waited, and always will.

 13.

I want to get up.
Just wake up from this nightmare.
It seems to grow ever more vigilant with time.
And the weights being carried are breaking my legs.
Everything seems to play into this abyss of confusion and melancholy.
The answer I want, are the same answers I hide from.
I can't face what will be placed in front of me.
My eyes burn with the thought.
But what if what I'm searching for is right behind me?
What if all I have to do is turn around?
I can't do it though, my eyes are fixed strait forward.
And the path is getting more and more tangled the farther I walk.
It's all an illusion, just fading and reappearing.
My heart beats slowly as I approach the bottom now.
The hole grows deeper, and I can't see the floor anymore.
Just push me in, shove my body deeper into this chaos.
My mind races as it comes back, facing me with it's evil eyes.
I wince at the thought of movement.
My muscles are tense, the adrenaline has faded into a slight numbness.
The corners of my eyes are moist, and a bead of sweat moves down my face.
Can't you see me now?
Do you see me this time?
The smoke is clearing, so it shouldn't be too hard.
Just open it for me, let me in so I can see.
I swear to you, the world beyond this is more than you can imagine.
But you have the key, and the door has been locked behind us.
The audience grows weary of this failed experiment.
They get up to leave, as I sit in my seat, waiting.
The encore will come soon, and I want to see it.
The sign reads "No Smoking"
So why is it that the room is blanketed in it?
Why are the things around me so unclear?
The water is rising now, filling the towns.
The fire grows more rapid, devouring the homes.
The wind blows everything away, and I'm rooted to this spot.
I want to watch it all go down.
I want to watch the meteors crash down above me.
I want to see the sun look at me with envious eyes as he slowly fades.
I'm losing this battle, and there isn't enough time to get out now.
I hold my breath, learning to swim.
The trees are all yelling at us to get out.
And we stare as they come tumbling down around us.
Do you see me now?
In the back row, with your roses?
The blood is on the hands now.
And the water will wash it away.
Where do I stand now that the ground has been removed?
I'll see you on the other side.
I'll be waiting.
And fixing it all, piece by piece.

 14.

The weight is coming down full force on my back as I carry it.
You see me struggling, and do nothing.
The path is being paved below me, guiding me down it.
Should I follow it, or stray away?
I need your hand to guide me away, but this path is so inviting.
I don't think my skin can bear the thorns anymore.
If only you would pull them out for me.
I can't stand the harm that I see in you.
The self inflicted misery that is pouring into me now.
I speak, but no words are produced.
I scream, and not a sound.
The sky welcomes me, pulls me and rips me into the air.
But the ground was so comfortable.
The time is slowing down, almost stopping.
Days feel like months,
Hours feel like years.
Seconds feel like eternity.
I can only bend so far now, so far until I break.
How far do you want me to go?
How deep do you want me to get?
How long are you going to let me starve?
Night time approached, and I sold my soul to the stars.
I gave my heart to the moon.
And I want it all back.

 15.

I hold on a tight as I can.
The ledge is so cold, the air so calm.
My hands are forming sweat,
and I can't hang here much longer.
Will you give me your hand or step on my fingers?
I slide off gently, plummeting in slow motion towards the bottom.
The trees wait for my arrival, the dirt feels so warm under my feet.
I want to just walk, but my legs have become numb.
So I sit here, paralyzed over you, and wait it out.
But am I waiting, or wasting away?
Your my poison, and I don't want to induce vomiting.
I want you to coarse through my veins, devouring my health.
Your my antidote, and I need to heal.
Can't you see it anymore?
Or have you blinded yourself from what is there.
Your eyes might deceive you, following impulses by the brain.
But you need to know, you need to see.
Become half a person, half a mind, half a soul, half a heart.
Become and destroy what you built.
It's easy if you try.
Your the oxygen inside the syringe.
Your the flame in the fumes.
Your the fall of an empire.
The power that you need is inside of it all.
Just open the box, and dive in.
You think that this is real?
Did you think that it would be okay?
My legs are starting to flow blood again,
It's up to you if I walk.
But your hands aren't strong enough to lift me yet.
Your sick again, and I'm the antidote this time.
They have found a cure, but do you want it?
The trees are beginning to grow into me here,
Wrapping the roots into my veins,
The leaves cover my eyes.
And you stand their, watching the mirror, and seeing the monster within.
Your escape is a way back in.
Why don't you see that?
Your circling it, not avoiding it.
It's a cycle.
The moon watches with me now.
And I am the cure.
I am the cure.
I've always been the cure.
But I think I'm starting to expire.
And my legs go numb once again.

 16.

I watch as the moon rise as the sun slowly dies again.
The stars accompany it, all surrounding it viciously.
I reach, to grab one to hand you.
And in my hand the star cries for you.
And I squeeze it until it bleeds, the blood falls to the ground.
Roses blossom on the floor, and they have sown mouths.
I can't bear their screams any longer.
It's almost sad as they burst into flames, and the star withers away.
I spread the ashes over the sea of blood.
And weep as it turns to water once again.
I see my reflection in the pool below, swallowing the pain.
And I watch as I choke.
What a beautiful sight this is before us now.
The sirens call out to us,
And we waft to their song of impending doom.
I wait for the tragedy.
I wait for the wake of it all.
I'm trapped in the blink of your eye.

17.

Excuse me dear, could you hand me the scissors?
I want to cut these strings you have attached to me.
I want to walk on my own, feel the sand between my toes.
Cause now is the time to get out of here.
This room is getting crowded, and the walls are closing in.
And you left me in the hoards of people, knowing how anxious I am.
All the clocks have stopped.
And for a moment, time stood still.
Now the minute hand is rapidly spinning, and I can move again.
The vein that runs in through my heart is severed.
And I'm patching it up, slowly.
So I will see you on the other side of the bridge.
But I warn you, the water below is rising, and becoming vicious with anger.
I would hold your hand, but you can do this on your own if I can.
Savor that moment,
For it is just a blink of an eye.
The chance for revival is up.
And the bridge is rising.
I walk across, with my eyes strait forward.
See you on the other side, my dear.
See you on the other side.
Disappointed, I just didn't want to know.
Think that I'm deaf to their words.
Think that I'm blind to their looks.
Think that I'm dumb to what has transpired.
Think that I'm free of all emotion.
Think that I'm immune to the pain.
I'll see you on the other side.
But when you see me, don't be surprised if I'm a different person.
Don't think for a second, because you might miss it.

18.

Static fills me sound passages.
I hear nothing anymore,
The words spoke seemed to go unheard.
I sit in the cold realm called isolation.
And the walls bear judgmental eyes, staring strait through me.
Through the static comes a familiar sound, a sound of hope.
But the sound fades, and the static grows louder.
I am too connected to you to slip away.
I stand up, digging through the flesh to reveal the bone once again.
This skin has deceived me so many times, becoming a prison of sort.
I dig through the skin, tearing away at the muscle, just to see you stare at me.
My eyes go black for a moment, and you are walking into my mind.
I see you do this so often now, grabbing hunks of my sanity and shoveling it into your open mouth, just consuming what is rightfully mine.
I am to connected to you to fade away.
When will the clocks read that time again?
The hour of my despair. The minutes of the everlasting pain, trapped in a moment.
My chest is stripped of all flesh now, revealing the hole where my heart once sat.
I wanted to see if I was still able to live, to function again.
But it seems that you beat me to the chase.
You speak in tongues now.
And my mouth is only teeth.
Blood just seems so delightful now, the tears that walk along with them.
My skin remains missing, for you, for us, for the world that we shared.
I watch slowly in my realm of isolation as it heals, just for you to black me out and remove it once again.
I wait for the walls to crumble, so I may leave this cold place.
And return to land of the living, where the sun shines on everyone.
I just can't seem to wake up.
And you are my sedative.

19.

It's pitiful for me at this point.
I can free fall so far from the holds that I once bared,
But I just can't seem to hit the ground.
Why is it that when you smell gas filling the room you strike a match?
Cracking, tearing, unfolding into what you want to see.
Hold yourself and repeat your mantra. "It's okay"
Feel sorry for the agony to whom you have injected.
Wish upon those dead stars that you will be happy.
And just remove the barriers which you hide behind.
Long and narrow, the road takes a sudden turn and your asleep at the wheel.
You could make the flowers grow with your tears.
And the sun go black with your anger.
I have no reservations about the long walk home anymore.
The hand that guided me to safety has vanished, so now I am alone again.
I see through it all, I see you.
But you don't see me.
You don't see me at all.
The doors slowly close behind you as you step back into your world of depression and self mutilation, destruction, and annihilation.
Turn and face the reflection, see the eyes of the dead.
Blood dries on your hands,
As water washes away my self hatred.
I will always be speaking to you,
Just listen, and you will understand.
It hurts to walk, and I can't sit here anymore.
Wait it out, and feel the rush.

20.

You fall away into your mind.
You only escape the reality to revert to a state of unenlightenment.
If you face it head on, it might bow down and submit.
The words that are being found will not reach you in your dreams.
But I sympathize. I learn to understand.
I only want you to be normal, and for your head to be a field, not a prison.
I need to see something real for once.
I can no longer pretend that it is all okay.
I can no longer deny what you hand me.
I too must face my fears, and learn to overcome them.
You want to live inside a lie, hide from what you are becoming.
But when the shell cracks, and the water fills it up, you will swim to the surface.
And I can hold out my hand to lift you to the shore.
This world wasn't meant for you, you and I are not alone though.
Moments will pass us by, and you will remember only the way the clouds looked.
The rain has absorbed acid, and is eating away at your skin.
I want to shelter you from it, so that you may breath the fresh air of relief.

21.

The words are still lost, but the hole is growing larger.
And the world around it is crumbling down around you.
Close your eyes, so that you can see it now.
Cover your ears, the words lie within the silence.
The healing waits inside the suffocating air that fills our lungs

22.

The world that you have created for yourself is slipping away,
Step into mine with me now.
It's almost over.

23.

I watch as you crumble before my eyes.
And I weep silently.
You have so much to offer, but the words you carry pull you down so far.
The hole is widening, and becoming deeper.
The farther you fall, the more you forget what light feels like.
I will wait for you to land at the bottom, I will be there to lift you to your feet.
The mask you wear is becoming so noticeable, your eyes tell us everything.
Remove it, and show them your true face.
The time for hiding has come to pass, and I need them to see you.
So that their eyes will no longer be diluted and the words will no longer flow so viciously and stab your beautiful skin.
The blood loss is growing, and the tears walk along with them.
I need you to help me end this madness.
So that when you can open your eyes and see the sun, the light won't blind you.
So that I can show you the world, show you your true reflection.
I hide too, but the room is falling away.
You sit there, with the world weighing you down.
You fill your head with thoughts and lies,
And sleep it all away.
It's time to wake up, because as you can see, my hands have a hold of the clouds.
The rain must stop, your skin has absorbed to much of it.
You stand there, completely devastated by the transactions that have transpired.
I hold you for only a moment, to show you this is nothing more than an illusion.
Your pain is being transferred into me,
And it is tearing me apart.
I can no longer stand here and do nothing.
I can't, because I will most certainly fade away.
Settle for nothing more than the best.
And take my hand, I will guide you out of this misery.
Take my hand so I may walk with you on the edge, and keep you safe from the bottom.
Nothing you have is what you deserve.
And they are asleep on their feet.
To let them bring you down, brings me down with you.
You are me in an essence.
And I will not let us fall.
If I have to take the dive, then so be it.
But not you,
I will not allow it,
Not as long as I am breathing.
The sun is just behind those clouds.
Remember that.