Chapter 7: Disposable Razorblade Wrists
The Morbid Decay Collapse
This heat festers bringing the blood to a boil,
Instantly we vanish in her final thoughts,
The creation of life was nothing more than joke,
We all forgot the punchline synchronizing our eulogies,
Halfway through the threshold we bend to the break,
Spelling out the years of depravity with ease,
Stretching the surface that dug beneath our dreams,
Leaking in the cracks come realities rethought only at dawn,
Fingertips press down to eject the souls we reject,
Eager to find the next portal through the other side of existence,
Our punishment is denial and we accept it with a false idol at our feet,
The tenants of our deepest fears resign with no hesitation,
Leaving us to become products of society's devices,
This torment will never begin to cease as I beg her to answer,
Voices fill this hallway and we cover our naked bodies in the skins shed,
Sewing together the last remaining fragments of consciousness,
The sky can open up and show us it's hungry mouth,
Salivating at the sight of corrupted innocence,
She has left us here to wither,
Falling deeper into her madness now we beg,
Needing only a piece of her false solace,
Strangling the roots for traces of nourishment,
Lying in the fallen arches of salvation long departed,
Her name will fill us with the thickest confusion,
Each letter a trigger for insanity,
I swim deeper inside her entrails,
Tonguing my way through the skin from the insides,
Waiting for her to answer my voice silenced,
Slicing her open with the softest touch from outside in,
I can only bleed that which she breathes,
When the sky opens up,
She will beg me to come inside,
To devour your reality with ravenous anger,
Bringing about a cold so intense,
Freezing over all emotion self created,
She is the reason the sky is falling,
And I can smell her fear with my hands tied down
Meaningless Flesh
Pressure tends to collapse the air around us,
With the absence of vision they all saw it for what it was,
Reaching deeper in the hole for new questions,
Never quiet understanding the reasons for these actions,
Acting on instinct or something more sinister,
Pushing the boundaries down with weak arms,
Ignoring the obvious in front of us,
Leaning on the crutch of false comforts,
Scratching the light to a dim glow,
Knowing nothing of the outside world,
Only the pictures to remind us of the forgotten,
Spilling the contents with no regard for the consequence,
Balancing on the edge of complete loss,
These are the places we find ourselves,
Wrapped in out scared realities,
Splinting the truth to a point of non existence.
Something in the air pushes us deeper,
Whispering to overlook the pressure,
To withdraw our intents and begin the descent,
Reduce the chaos to a quiet hum.
Lean back and absorb the prescience of failure,
This melancholy is all we'll ever gain,
Time is nothing more than an illusion,
Progress is only a word with no meaning,
Salvation awaits in the abandonment of humanity,
Welcome it for all it's worth,
Never question the void's callings,
Damnation is this waking life,
The pressure will collapse these lungs,
So enjoy it while it's here,
This is eternal.
Visible Pain [Scars Re-Open]
I spoke the truth to you so we could walk away,
But you've left me here with these scars unhealed,
Licking the wounds to help recover what has lost,
I am nothing in your eyes now that this is opened,
A fading shadow hung from the ceiling with twine,
Watch as I squirm in my seat deeply unsettled,
I will contort into your vision of perfection defined,
Shedding the mistakes you've made me admit,
Digging into the skin to remove the past I hold tightly,
Once I'm bear maybe you will see the damage you have inflicted,
So masochistically
you lead me into your den of false solace,
Bending my bones into your mold I could never fill,
Dragging it out longer than we thought possible,
And as I busted at the seems you simply turned a blind eye,
Leaving me here to spill on the carpet into the tile,
So helpless I came to you and you came back to me,
For nothing is all we would ever gain,
This sick twisted game of what-if's we played,
Until the day came where it was too much,
Way to overwhelming to contain,
Sleepless nights where you'd haunt me as I faded in and out of reality,
Leading me deeper into the belly of your beast,
I have never turned my back to your cries,
Oh how you've done such to me,
And I can always love you with an incredible pain throughout,
The day you crawl back I have begged too long,
I am still awake with you engraved in my vision,
Balancing on my spine and breaking my neck softly,
I can only wait until our time is run to the quick,
Stealing your memories and placing myself in the blanks,
This has become so pathetic / these cries of torment you ignore,
Replacing your voice with a pill,
Turning you into a feeling of regret late into the night,
Swearing on our name to forever burn in the flames we ignite,
I could feel the weight collapse into me,
And so naive we must have been,
To ever think I was right, and the score was tied,
You had left a trail of blood crumbs leading us here,
Clue by clue I erased as I placed my hand upon them,
I'm sorry we ever met,
but I hope we meet again,
And the rain can wash this all away.
[4] Parts [of a Broken Soul ]
I feel discouraged in my future actions delayed,
Her voice echoed in the nameless rooms abandoned by those they held close,
Blood soaks this floor to the roots and feeds the leeches,
All I can do is lie motionless as she embodies my movements,
Telling me to entrust no one other than her from this point on,
Blindly obey as she destroys the progress I've built,
Burning it to the ground while throwing me in the ashes. (1)
Somewhere I will find the piece removed from this obscurity,
Tainted by your sin-filled touch,
We must remove this cancer before it spreads..(2)
Wait, I can hear the distant screams of sorrow,
How sad they sound from the top of the mountains I stand upon,
Every memory I drop to them leads them through another realm of torture,
Thier's and mine, fate intertwined...(3)
Stripping myself of all your emotions,
The remains are buried in my flesh decayed,
I ask for your hand and your silence forces mine,
We can no longer hide the scars we share,
The overwhelming pressure ever expanding,
I just need to know where you've gone,
I can't finish a thing without your voice to confirm,
Look at all this your leaving to rot,
I can wait as long as you need for me to expire,
The date draws near and we will be forgotten,
Fragments of someone's lost reality,
Your silence forces mine,
Into the next level of decomposition,
We can no longer hide,
These stains on the carpet of regret,
I have no more to offer other than my soul,
But that will never suffice for you,
I can no longer accept this....(4)
Deeper
Sleeping in the past's remains,
I hold my eyes shut with thick tape,
My body is paralyzed when she enters my mind,
And all I can do is adsorb the beauty she radiates,
Shedding tears that were never there,
They have the power to grow flowers on her cheek,
Her shadow begs me to embark within,
And all I can do is allow it to devour me,
Spilling life around me as it drags me inside,
In here we hear stories of enlightenment,
A place where there is no pain,
Noises tempt me back out of this realm,
But she has me tied down,
Never allowing me to depart,
Eyes being filled with images of eternity,
Spelling out the words of the chosen ones,
Someday I will posses her and show her how,
But that day is frozen between a moment and a memory,
And the keys are loosely hanging above the void,
She'll understand as we hold hand and dive,
The stories being screamed from the walls,
This isn't happening,
It never happened,
It was only a dream, she'll tell us all.
It's not a dream, he'll whisper in her ear,
And the walls will shatter at the sight,
The floors will melt and they will sink
Deeper
Never stopping to take anything in,
Deeper,
Slowly inserting the memories in the safe,
Hands trembling and chest caving inward.
We will absorb into our own denials,
And she will see how I feel for only a second,
This is never going to happen,
But she told us it's already over,
So we are left to decide,
Smear the remaining flesh on the damp concrete
Deeper
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