CHAPTER III: Intimate Lacerations on Tainted Flesh
Void
Her blood on my lips flows in throughout me,
I extinguish the thoughts of forgiveness,
Reaching past the inevitable silence for a sound,
A brief reminder that I no longer live in that world,
Cleansed by the filthy decay I'm wrapped in,
Preserving my untimely departure,
You'll learn to forgive these indiscretions,
Passing them into the needle,
Softly I laid my lifeless skin upon hers,
The colors bled into her stomach; creation of life.
God: In Absentia
The thoughts of the divine have blinded those who follow,
Leaving bad tastes in the mouths of those who speak out,
Branded as an antichrist, I fit the role perfectly.
"If it wasn't in the scriptures, it mustn't be true"
Allegations of enlightenment thrown by manipulations of falsities,
The saddest result is the blood spilled on the "holy" ground,
Never truly reaching your destination you'll wonder eternity,
These false prophets lead you away from intellectualism,
Branding you with guilt, shame, and fear.
Indeed, their blood is worthy of being spilled,
In a world where the answers are in nature we look to the sky,
Begging to float into the clouds in a childish dream.
One day the eyes and minds of the masses will open,
And out will depart truth, reason, and understanding.
Self Destructive Symphony for the Deaf
My reflection is not who I am,
It's eyes see through me and judge my actions,
Lingering long after it's gone I feel it's presence,
Waiting in the distance of my memories faded,
Painting the portrait of despair with blood and flesh,
And we are the body and the resting corpse,
Wrapped within the meaning of life just out of reach,
Half dead, we forgot what it feels like to live,
Nothing changes for the better inside this,
Mutilating our ambitions and hopes for sustenance,
Desperate for air; it's so hard to breathe now,
With pieces of the shattered reflection
I learn how to alter it's appearance,
Drastically tearing at the remaining few,
My hands go numb and the rest is a blur.
The Mirrors Sinister Activation of a Masochistic Manifestation
I want to feel this skin tear like cheap fabric,
Revealing the secrets I keep buried under the trivial flesh,
My face is shrouded in shame and filth,
You see only what I allow you to see dear,
Don't think anything other than what I suggest,
My palms are caked in despair and dried blood,
Mouths moving to uncover the hidden desperation,
How did we get here again? You and I have come too far,
But it doesn't matter as your nails break the strings,
It will unfold on top of us and the world will fade,
Unable to tell dreams from the waking world I walk away,
You sit and stare contently as I open you up at the stomach,
Diving deeper than I ever have descended,
Redefining your pain into the realm of corrected falsities,
Picking out the remains from between my teeth,
This would be sad if I wasn't so cut off from emotion,
We have both fallen so far from our pedestals,
Sinking in this blackened water, unsure as to how to swim,
Breathing in the liquid as our own air we let go of everything,
Your hand falls from mine and I'm left with the silver,
My hand is severed and your left with the world at your finger tips,
Picking the scabs and digging into the wounds,
I forget what true pain feels like wallowing in my own self pity,
I need to remove this mask so you can see,
Forgiving my actions as I take your final breath away from you.
I would be sorry for the way it turned out,
But I forget what it is to be human.
Apocalyptic Jokes Woven in Blood Soaked Fabric
Swaying to the sounds of pessimism,
We danced under the rain of blood,
Together as one we meant nothing,
The feeling must be mutual and if it's not it'll decay,
Wait, I think I've understood this concept before,
Again, I've fallen away from the crowd,
Alone and distant we heard them speak of the end of times,
With disregards to the warnings, I depart deeper into the theory,
I haven't felt this isolated in ages,
But it's to be expected,
The world has vanished around me,
And the ones that I've loved have joined the graveyards,
The parking lots with tombstones create dry tears,
Emotions have been replaced with artificial reactions,
I'm nothing compared to them,
Their ashes will mean more than my life's work,
Collected in a pile combed with the teeth of our deepest regret,
The lights seem to flicker in this room,
Windowless and hollow I sway to the sounds of silence,
So loud my ears begin to bleed,
Understand, there is no one left to grasp the simplest concept,
All have perished in the falsities created by man,
Subdued the subconscious into a false state of comfort,
A white lie to help us survive, destroy those who oppose,
I'll try to hold what's left of her remains,
My palms so sweaty and the nerves clenching,
I've laid in the burial grounds of humanity to wake empty handed,
Screaming will never make a single sound,
Theology is all lost in this abysmal emptiness,
The ideas of the lost are wasted now in the rotting trees,
Buried in their own self pity, I could swear that was a tear,
The administration tells me to settle down before it gets out of control,
In a blink, they become nothing more than a terrible memory repressed,
These walls are padded and seem to breathe the air I choose to ignore,
This explains the sirens warning the corpses of emending doom,
The beasts from the water have risen but the eyes are blind,
Serpents speak the words of salvation, the ears have gone deaf,
The doctors advise my diagnosis, these hallways echo the last footstep,
Remove the central nervous system,
The vessel to the new dawn of existence,
The remaining survivor of the spiritual holocaust,
The button for the nurse is obsolete for she has passed on,
Behind the walls and under the morgue the staff weeps in flames,
The doors will unlock with the key incarcerated,
Shards of glass became scalpels for their operation,
When did the orderly become the patients?
I have swallowed the last of my pain,
It was administered with a cup of water and sympathetic eyes,
This place is hollowed out from within,
The remainder on the solution to the true essence of existence,
I am the stain on perfection,
With a few loops and a knot I can sway like the breeze,
All I need is the doctor's permission to embark,
The deceased speak nothing more than the words they've already uttered,
Offering me nothing of importance I must watch as they toil in the flames,
Digging with ingrown nails into each others flesh,
I hunger for her taste once more as this witness closes his eyes,
Emptied out the sanity into the ashes of the eternal flame,
I will gather the materials from the abandoned stations,
In the end,
I will join the rest of them,
I can not be alone any longer than this.
Alive in Her Comatose Purgatory
The screen filled with static invites me in for a closer look,
Chaos is what we have begun to breed amongst our peers,
Laughing in the trails of destruction we lead,
Breath by breath we hold on tighter to our visions unraveled,
Placed as an offering at the alter that pain built,
The demons we have fought have manifested into reflections of ourselves,
Deeply remorseful at the pendulum's stomach,
Having no perception of what may lie ahead,
Just absorbing the moments we squandered away,
Oh, how I loved you for so long silent,
Your voice filled me with what was missing far from this place,
Delay the after effects and postpone the forward momentum,
The grand finale is to great to force early,
They will all see how we have been there from the second of creation,
Breathing into their unheard wishes never answered,
Sit around the table and eat the propaganda on your plate,
This suffering has gone on far too long, don't you agree?
You will see, my dear, that there was never a moment of doubt,
And you can scream into my existence until it begins to crack,
I will endure all you can muster and place down upon me,
The floors will open wide for this third course of the hopelessly lost,
Descending into a girl's comatose purgatory,
In here I am immune to your blows,
But the silence penetrates my immunity and leaves me paralyzed,
She lifted a phantom limb to grasp the concept,
Thrashing at the full spectrum unfolded on the tablecloth,
They vomited the remains of her consciousness,
Watching the incests feast upon it late into the morning,
Placing the center to the right with a false interpretation of the true meaning,
How long have I fallen from the brink of my own creations?
Glass lies askew in the vessel now,
The static has poured out onto the carpet,
Spreading to the walls to consume my cell you've crafted,
The tension in my veins beg me to sever,
I closed my eyes as she placed the blade in my hand,
No more assurances would ever be heard from her snaked tongue,
The gas in here is beginning to choke me softly,
I open my eyes to watch her lock the door,
Filling the syringe with my entire being,
She breaks the skin into the bloodstream so the destruction can commence,
I begin to wonder how of me she's stolen,
And with that,
I feel the cold metal break everything I had left.
Manufactured Suicides
Solace seeks refuge in the depths of the broken flesh,
Cowering from the motions of the waking,
Whispering softly into the ears of wilted flowers,
Decay is all it can taste,
Feasting on the remains long forgotten,
Vomiting the abscess with blurred vision,
Something awakes in the distance,
Crying out for life to engulf itself in,
The scattered rush inward, teeth bared,
Craving the innocence at hand with absolute relentlessness,
Within the level of discontent we can discover enlightenment,
If it is only for a breath and a beat,
Soothe the depraved with substance,
Carve the nightmare out of the dead layers,
Peel until the tips are ripe with blood,
I can only contain this for so long,
It will escape before to long,
The hunger screams as the desire intensifies,
I need to feel the sweet kiss of the pendulum, Collections of desperation collapse under the false pretense, That last glance over the shoulder confirms my suspicions, Sleep comes at the cost of sedation, These past waking hours have been a daze, The secret smell of disapproval lingers in this room, It's time to feed the parasites, We can't have them die inside us again, Oh, he simplistic lies we tell ourselves to allow us to coexist, Manifested secrets we live into for comfort, I can hear the screaming all around this place, It's haunting and luring like the Siren's Song, Inviting us into this world of fantasy, Without pain, Without emotions, The hand in mine is nothing to me anymore, It's only vice is the temptation of the weak, Solace has once again forsaken me, Deceiving my perceptions of immortality, Twisting and transforming into a stronger being, A beast within a beast, What a web it's woven, The twine so adhesive, And when the light shined through the cracks, I saw what it was, Oh, the sweet lies we allow ourselves to believe, A carnivorous connoisseur of innocence, That beautifully built machine, Ravenously digging into the innards, Because when the light shines in the cracks, We see what it was, Hiding behind the depths of a omniscient promise, That eerily haunting reflection, And I stood there, Watching it destroy what I'd built, And in my final moment, I joined in the deconstruction.
Swaying to the sounds of pessimism,
We danced under the rain of blood,
Together as one we meant nothing,
The feeling must be mutual and if it's not it'll decay,
Wait, I think I've understood this concept before,
Again, I've fallen away from the crowd,
Alone and distant we heard them speak of the end of times,
With disregards to the warnings, I depart deeper into the theory,
I haven't felt this isolated in ages,
But it's to be expected,
The world has vanished around me,
And the ones that I've loved have joined the graveyards,
The parking lots with tombstones create dry tears,
Emotions have been replaced with artificial reactions,
I'm nothing compared to them,
Their ashes will mean more than my life's work,
Collected in a pile combed with the teeth of our deepest regret,
The lights seem to flicker in this room,
Windowless and hollow I sway to the sounds of silence,
So loud my ears begin to bleed,
Understand, there is no one left to grasp the simplest concept,
All have perished in the falsities created by man,
Subdued the subconscious into a false state of comfort,
A white lie to help us survive, destroy those who oppose,
I'll try to hold what's left of her remains,
My palms so sweaty and the nerves clenching,
I've laid in the burial grounds of humanity to wake empty handed,
Screaming will never make a single sound,
Theology is all lost in this abysmal emptiness,
The ideas of the lost are wasted now in the rotting trees,
Buried in their own self pity, I could swear that was a tear,
The administration tells me to settle down before it gets out of control,
In a blink, they become nothing more than a terrible memory repressed,
These walls are padded and seem to breathe the air I choose to ignore,
This explains the sirens warning the corpses of emending doom,
The beasts from the water have risen but the eyes are blind,
Serpents speak the words of salvation, the ears have gone deaf,
The doctors advise my diagnosis, these hallways echo the last footstep,
Remove the central nervous system,
The vessel to the new dawn of existence,
The remaining survivor of the spiritual holocaust,
The button for the nurse is obsolete for she has passed on,
Behind the walls and under the morgue the staff weeps in flames,
The doors will unlock with the key incarcerated,
Shards of glass became scalpels for their operation,
When did the orderly become the patients?
I have swallowed the last of my pain,
It was administered with a cup of water and sympathetic eyes,
This place is hollowed out from within,
The remainder on the solution to the true essence of existence,
I am the stain on perfection,
With a few loops and a knot I can sway like the breeze,
All I need is the doctor's permission to embark,
The deceased speak nothing more than the words they've already uttered,
Offering me nothing of importance I must watch as they toil in the flames,
Digging with ingrown nails into each others flesh,
I hunger for her taste once more as this witness closes his eyes,
Emptied out the sanity into the ashes of the eternal flame,
I will gather the materials from the abandoned stations,
In the end,
I will join the rest of them,
I can not be alone any longer than this.
Alive in Her Comatose Purgatory
The screen filled with static invites me in for a closer look,
Chaos is what we have begun to breed amongst our peers,
Laughing in the trails of destruction we lead,
Breath by breath we hold on tighter to our visions unraveled,
Placed as an offering at the alter that pain built,
The demons we have fought have manifested into reflections of ourselves,
Deeply remorseful at the pendulum's stomach,
Having no perception of what may lie ahead,
Just absorbing the moments we squandered away,
Oh, how I loved you for so long silent,
Your voice filled me with what was missing far from this place,
Delay the after effects and postpone the forward momentum,
The grand finale is to great to force early,
They will all see how we have been there from the second of creation,
Breathing into their unheard wishes never answered,
Sit around the table and eat the propaganda on your plate,
This suffering has gone on far too long, don't you agree?
You will see, my dear, that there was never a moment of doubt,
And you can scream into my existence until it begins to crack,
I will endure all you can muster and place down upon me,
The floors will open wide for this third course of the hopelessly lost,
Descending into a girl's comatose purgatory,
In here I am immune to your blows,
But the silence penetrates my immunity and leaves me paralyzed,
She lifted a phantom limb to grasp the concept,
Thrashing at the full spectrum unfolded on the tablecloth,
They vomited the remains of her consciousness,
Watching the incests feast upon it late into the morning,
Placing the center to the right with a false interpretation of the true meaning,
How long have I fallen from the brink of my own creations?
Glass lies askew in the vessel now,
The static has poured out onto the carpet,
Spreading to the walls to consume my cell you've crafted,
The tension in my veins beg me to sever,
I closed my eyes as she placed the blade in my hand,
No more assurances would ever be heard from her snaked tongue,
The gas in here is beginning to choke me softly,
I open my eyes to watch her lock the door,
Filling the syringe with my entire being,
She breaks the skin into the bloodstream so the destruction can commence,
I begin to wonder how of me she's stolen,
And with that,
I feel the cold metal break everything I had left.
Manufactured Suicides
Solace seeks refuge in the depths of the broken flesh,
Cowering from the motions of the waking,
Whispering softly into the ears of wilted flowers,
Decay is all it can taste,
Feasting on the remains long forgotten,
Vomiting the abscess with blurred vision,
Something awakes in the distance,
Crying out for life to engulf itself in,
The scattered rush inward, teeth bared,
Craving the innocence at hand with absolute relentlessness,
Within the level of discontent we can discover enlightenment,
If it is only for a breath and a beat,
Soothe the depraved with substance,
Carve the nightmare out of the dead layers,
Peel until the tips are ripe with blood,
I can only contain this for so long,
It will escape before to long,
The hunger screams as the desire intensifies,
I need to feel the sweet kiss of the pendulum, Collections of desperation collapse under the false pretense, That last glance over the shoulder confirms my suspicions, Sleep comes at the cost of sedation, These past waking hours have been a daze, The secret smell of disapproval lingers in this room, It's time to feed the parasites, We can't have them die inside us again, Oh, he simplistic lies we tell ourselves to allow us to coexist, Manifested secrets we live into for comfort, I can hear the screaming all around this place, It's haunting and luring like the Siren's Song, Inviting us into this world of fantasy, Without pain, Without emotions, The hand in mine is nothing to me anymore, It's only vice is the temptation of the weak, Solace has once again forsaken me, Deceiving my perceptions of immortality, Twisting and transforming into a stronger being, A beast within a beast, What a web it's woven, The twine so adhesive, And when the light shined through the cracks, I saw what it was, Oh, the sweet lies we allow ourselves to believe, A carnivorous connoisseur of innocence, That beautifully built machine, Ravenously digging into the innards, Because when the light shines in the cracks, We see what it was, Hiding behind the depths of a omniscient promise, That eerily haunting reflection, And I stood there, Watching it destroy what I'd built, And in my final moment, I joined in the deconstruction.
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